I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
We need to rekindle our bromance
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
