nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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