So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
