bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
