Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
