theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize