also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
