Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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