I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
