I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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