i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I need to calm my uterus...
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
