eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
