we have officially lost it.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize