I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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