I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
