i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
It's official drugs can't kill me
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
