Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
