he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
