he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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