dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Help me help you realize you are a moron
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
