If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
