All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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