And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
