why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
