Pants 0. Shit 1.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
