I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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