I'm pants shitting drunk right now
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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