I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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