garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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