Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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