her vagina looked like bernie madoff
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Your penis caused this!
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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