Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
