i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Randomize
