brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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