Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
