I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
