Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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