I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
