with your own penis?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
