o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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