I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Randomize
