Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
