You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize