I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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