do herpes really smell.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
