yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
