haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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