dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Randomize
