First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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