Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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