do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
My dick has a subreddit
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
