Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
