I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
My cat gives me a boner
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
