is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Randomize
