Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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