all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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