What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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