i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Randomize
