No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
