Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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