Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize