guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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