Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize