Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
My breath smells like gin and sadness
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
