What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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