If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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